Understanding Non-Verbal Cues in Social Situations

Introduction

Non-verbal cues are a crucial part of social interactions, helping us interpret others’ feelings and intentions beyond words. These cues include body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and tone of voice—all of which play a significant role in how we connect with others.

In this article, we’ll explore what non-verbal communication is, discuss the common challenges autistic teens may face, and share practical strategies to help them navigate these interactions. By understanding and supporting their non-verbal communication, we can create more positive social experiences.

To learn more about atypical speech patterns in autism, check out our article,

Understanding Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication involves conveying messages without words through body language, facial expressions, gestures, and eye contact. These cues are essential in daily interactions, helping us understand the emotions and intentions behind what others say.

For example, a smile can signal friendliness, while crossed arms might suggest defensiveness.

Non-verbal cues play a key role in everyday social situations:

  • Greeting Someone: A firm handshake, nod, or smile often accompanies a verbal greeting, signalling friendliness and openness.
  • Listening in a Conversation: Maintaining eye contact and nodding while someone speaks shows engagement and interest, even without speaking.
  • Understanding Sarcasm or Jokes: Tone of voice and facial expressions, like a smirk or raised eyebrow, often indicate sarcasm or humour, even if the words don’t make it clear.
  • Expressing Discomfort: Shifting away, avoiding eye contact, or fidgeting can signal discomfort or anxiety, even if unspoken.
  • Showing Empathy: A gentle touch on the shoulder or a sympathetic expression can convey support and understanding without words.

These non-verbal cues help us connect and understand each other more deeply.

Common Non-Verbal Challenges for Autistic Teens

Interpreting non-verbal cues can be particularly challenging for autistic adolescents, often making social situations confusing or overwhelming. Unlike their neurotypical peers, who naturally pick up on these unspoken signals, autistic teens may struggle with:

  • Facial Expressions: Understanding what a smile or frown means.
  • Gestures: Recognising when someone is using a gesture to convey meaning.
  • Personal Space: Realising when they’re standing too close to someone.

Neurotypical teens often understand these cues naturally because they can see the whole picture of what’s happening in a social interaction. Autistic teens, however, might focus more on small details, which can make it harder to get the bigger picture.

These challenges can lead to:

  • Misreading Signals: They might not pick up on sarcasm or jokes.
  • Feeling Awkward: They may not notice when their actions make others uncomfortable.

With the right guidance and practice, autistic teens can develop these skills, improving their social interactions and relationships. Adolescence is already a tricky time, and these non-verbal challenges add to the complexity. But with support, social situations can become easier and more comfortable for them.

Practical Strategies to Support Non-Verbal Communication

Supporting autistic teenagers in understanding and using non-verbal communication is more effective when strategies are tailored to each teen’s unique needs and cultural context.

Social skills training is valuable, but it’s crucial to help teens navigate social interactions in ways that feel natural and comfortable for them. This means focusing on what works best for each individual, rather than enforcing strict norms like maintaining eye contact or using handshakes.

It’s also important to avoid overtraining, as this can make behaviours feel forced or unnatural. For example, instead of insisting on handshakes, explore greeting methods that better suit the teen’s comfort level.

Here are some practical strategies:

1. Visual Supports

Visual aids like pictures, charts, or videos can

  • Charts: Show different facial expressions alongside the emotions they represent.
  • Videos: Demonstrate social interactions and pause to discuss non-verbal signals.
  • Flashcards: Use images of gestures or postures and discuss their meanings.

For example, create a simple chart with facial expressions—happy, sad, angry—with brief explanations. When watching TV at home, pause the show to discuss the characters’ body language.

For tips on teaching autistic children to identify facial expressions and emotions, see our article,

Teaching Young Children to Identify Emotions

2. Role-Playing and Practice

Role-playing allows teens to practise non-verbal communication in a safe environment. For example, practice greetings by acting out how to greet a friend with eye contact, a smile, and a handshake. You can also role-play how to use body language and tone of voice to comfort someone who is upset.

3. Mindful Observation

Encouraging teens to observe non-verbal cues in others can improve their ability to recognize and understand these signals. You can teach them to pay close attention to how people use body language, facial expressions, and gestures in different situations.

For example, while out in public, you can encourage the teen to watch how others interact—how they stand, use their hands, or make eye contact. Later, discuss what they observed and what it might mean.

4. Peer Support

Peers can play an important role in helping autistic teens practise non-verbal communication. In school, a teacher might set up a buddy system where a peer helps an autistic teen by providing cues or reminders during group activities. For instance, if a peer notices that the teen is not making eye contact, they could gently remind them or demonstrate how to do it.

Being a Big Brother, Big Sister

Encouraging Positive Social Interactions

Creating a supportive environment is key to helping autistic teenagers feel comfortable and confident in social interactions. Here are some tips to encourage positive non-verbal communication:

1. Create a Safe Space:

Ensure that social settings are welcoming and free from judgement. For example, at a community centre or youth group, organisers can establish a designated quiet area where teens can take a break if they feel overwhelmed, allowing them to rejoin activities when they’re ready.

2. Model Positive Interactions:

Parents, educators, and peers can model appropriate non-verbal communication by using clear body language, facial expressions, and gestures. For instance, a teacher might regularly make eye contact, smile, and nod to show understanding during a conversation, providing a clear example for the autistic teen to observe and learn from.

3. Encourage Peer Support:

Inclusive social settings are vital. Encourage peers to engage with autistic teens in supportive ways. For example, at a local club or volunteer event, a peer might be encouraged to pair up with an autistic teen, showing patience by waiting for them to respond in conversations or offering a reassuring gesture, like a gentle pat on the back.

How autistic teen Keith opened up, with a little help from friends

Rainbow Centre’s (Singapore) befrienders programme pairs young volunteers with youths with disabilities.

4. Celebrate Small Successes:

Acknowledge and celebrate even small improvements in non-verbal communication. If an autistic teen successfully uses a new gesture or facial expression at a family gathering or during a group outing, parents or friends can give them positive feedback, such as saying, “Great job using your smile to show you’re happy!”

5. Tailor Interactions:

Recognize that each autistic teen is unique. Tailor social interactions to their comfort level. For example, in a social setting like a café or park, if a teen is uncomfortable with direct eye contact, friends might encourage them to show engagement through alternative means, like nodding or giving a thumbs-up, instead of insisting on eye contact.

By creating a welcoming and understanding environment, parents, teachers, friends, and community members can really help autistic teenagers build positive social interactions.

Conclusion

In conclusion, supporting autistic teenagers in learning non-verbal communication is about helping them connect with others in a way that feels right for them. It’s not about fixing them or forcing them to fit neurotypical norms. Instead, it’s about accepting and celebrating them as they are.

By offering the right help, creating welcoming spaces, and celebrating their progress, we can help them connect with others more confidently. With patience and understanding, we can help them feel more comfortable and included, just as they are.

Resources and Further Reading

How to Develop Social Skills

Nurturing Positive Autistic Identity in Social Settings

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