Death is a complicated and abstract concept. Use simple terms to describe death, for example, when someone dies, they can no longer breathe, move or eat. Explain death as a natural part of life using examples they can see, like a dead fly on the windowsill, or a plant’s life cycle.

You can also introduce the concept of death by using everyday situations, like the death of a co-worker or the death of someone famous. Let your child see how you react to loss to help them learn about emotions. If suitable, consider having your child attend a wake or funeral.

It may be helpful to prepare your child for your eventual death by talking about a future where you are no longer present with them. Films, books, news stories, stories of people they know or games can be used to start the conversation.

Be mindful that feelings of grief are not reserved for just people. The death of a beloved pet can evoke the same depth of sadness and grief as the loss of a friend or family member.

If the death of someone close is expected, gradually start preparing the child in advance. Explain what will happen at hospitals, funerals, and wakes. If possible, visit these places beforehand or look at pictures together to familiarise the child.

Before visiting hospitals/hospices, tell the child about any changes they might notice in the ill person, such as changes in appearance, sound, or feel. Explain the presence of medical equipment like intravenous lines or ventilators, and mention that these might be noisy

Try to keep daily routines as close to the child’s usual routine as possible. If there are going to be changes, explain them clearly ahead of time. Tell the child who will be taking them to school or to their activities, using clear and concrete language. Use pictures and photographs to help explain new people or places, like a picture of the new babysitter or the hospital.

Preparing your child for your own passing or that of someone close can be very tough. Creating a Social Story in advance can help

These Social Stories can be helpful to prepare the child for visits to the hospital/hospice, funerals and wakes. The story should include significant details (e.g. what the coffin will look like, what the body will look like, that people may be crying, etc.) Where appropriate, generic images should be replaced with actual photos (e.g. photos of hospital, church etc).

Think about asking specific people to take photos and videos at the funeral. These can remind your child of what occurred and can be added to the Social Story you prepare.

This approach helps your child understand and remember the events surrounding the loss, making the process a bit easier to handle.

Examples of Social Stories about death and grieving can be found here, here and here.

When talking to your child about death, use clear and straightforward language. Instead of saying that someone has “gone to a better place” or “gone to sleep,” clearly explain that they have died.

Clarifying death is important because vague explanations can lead your child to misunderstand why the person is no longer present. For example, your child might think the person they love is gone for other reasons, such as the person left because they no longer love them.

If your belief system includes concepts like Heaven, be clear that Heaven isn’t a place you can visit, like a city on a map. This helps prevent your child from feeling confused or upset about why they can’t go there to see their loved one or why the person isn’t coming back to visit.

If someone close to your child dies, your child may worry about losing you too. It’s important to reassure them that you are still there to care for them and that there are other supportive people in their life.

Monitor how often your child seeks reassurance. It’s normal for them to need extra comfort during this time, but be aware if it starts to turn into compulsive behaviour. If it does, address this gently to promote healthy coping

When a child loses someone important like a parent or caregiver, remembering that person is a key part of dealing with grief. Even if the person isn’t physically there anymore, the emotional bond is still strong. Memories help the child understand who they’re grieving for and why.

Encourage the child to talk about the person who has passed away. Explain that it’s okay to miss them and share memories, even if they can’t see or talk to them anymore. Give the child plenty of chances to express their feelings and thoughts.

You can also help by sharing your own memories and feelings about the person. Look at pictures together and tell stories about them. Remember, it might take a while for the child to fully understand their loss, and they may want to talk about it even much later

These activities and items can provide meaningful ways for grieving children and young people to connect with and remember someone important who has passed away.