Finding Emotional Balance for Autistic Children (Part 1)

Introduction

Emotional regulation is key to every child’s development, especially for autistic children. It means being able to identify and manage emotions in a healthy way, also known as emotional self-regulation.

When a child isn’t calm, learning and engaging with others becomes hard. Without good strategies for handling emotions, a child may become too anxious, angry, or excited, leading to dysregulation. This can cause challenging behaviours as the child struggles to cope.

Before a child can regulate their emotions, they need to understand what emotions are and how they feel. This means recognizing different emotions and knowing what they look and feel like. For example, what makes someone happy or anxious? By starting with this basic understanding, children can build emotional self-awareness, helping them manage their responses to both too much and too little stimulation in their environment.

A previous article Teaching Young Children to Identify Emotions on covered strategies on how to teach young children to identify and understand emotions.

Understanding and Managing Emotions – Social Story

Understanding and managing your emotions shows you’re in control and can handle tough situations. When you feel upset, angry, happy, or scared, it’s important to recognise your feelings and use healthy ways to cope with it.

Challenges Faced by Autistic Children in Regulating Emotions

Emotional regulation is part of executive functioning, which also includes skills like planning, attention, and flexibility. While these may seem like natural abilities, they are actually behaviours that can be learned and improved.

For autistic children, emotional regulation means recognizing an emotional state, thinking about the consequences of reacting, and choosing to move towards a goal, even when negative emotions are present. This can be challenging, as autistic children often have stronger emotional reactions and may find it harder to move past negative feelings.

Each autistic child handles sensory input and emotional regulation differently. Signs of emotional dysregulation can be different, but changes in behaviour—like increased flapping, stimming, pacing, or rocking—may indicate the child is struggling with their emotions. If the child can communicate, asking how they feel can be helpful, but when they are very
upset, expressing emotions with words may be difficult.

It’s important to consider the environment when understanding an autistic child’s emotions. Questions like “Is this a new place?” or “What was their experience here before?” can provide valuable insights. Sometimes, a place can cause anxiety or sensory overload, while other times, the child might seek sensory input. Watching how they behave in different settings can help you better support their emotional needs.

Autism and Emotions: Animated Guide for Elementary Kids

Understanding Co-Regulation

Co-regulation is a process where adults help children manage their emotions, particularly when they are too young or overwhelmed to do it on their own. It’s an essential part of emotional development before a child can learn to self-regulate their feelings independently.

Adults play a crucial role in modelling healthy emotional regulation for children. Before you can help your child manage their emotions, it’s important to check in with your own feelings. Calm yourself first, as children learn from how you handle your emotions. By staying calm, listening actively, and offering empathy, you guide your child through their emotions and teach them to manage those feelings independently.

How Co-Regulation Works

Co-regulation typically happens with infants and very young children. It’s similar to how we soothe children before they have the skills to soothe themselves. We use our voice, facial expressions, and body language, along with hugging and soothing tones, to help little ones regulate their emotions and body.

Imagine a child who is scared by something. The adult responds by hugging them, rocking back and forth, and saying “it’s okay” in a soothing, quiet voice. This is co-regulation in action. The adult helps the child calm down, providing emotional support that will eventually help the child learn to regulate themselves

Importance of Co-Regulation for All Children

Co-regulation is crucial for younger children who may struggle with “big feelings.” It is equally important for older or autistic children during challenging times. Autistic children, in particular, may need additional support in finding and using strategies when they feel frustrated. Parents and caregivers act as ‘emotional coaches,’ guiding children in managing their feelings and behaviours. Through co-regulation, children learn to recognize and cope with their emotions, finding comfort and support knowing that others are there to help