Tools for Teaching
Emotional Regulation (Part 2)

Learning to regulate emotions is a valuable skill that helps children replace impulsive reactions with healthier responses, supporting their mental well-being.

The following are some effective tools for teaching emotional regulation.

1. Zones of Regulation

The Zones of Regulation, created by Leah Kuypers, is a social-emotional learning tool that helps children recognise and manage their emotions using four coloured zones. Each zone represents different feelings, energy levels, and alertness. While often taught in schools and therapy, parents can also use it at home to help their children learn self-regulation, making the program more effective across different settings.

Red Zone: State of very high energy and intense emotions like anger, rage, devastation, or terror.
Yellow Zone: Higher energy and elevated emotions such as stress, frustration, anxiety, excitement, or nervousness. The child has more control here than in the red zone.
Blue Zone: Low states of alertness and energy, including feelings of sadness, tiredness, sickness, or boredom.
Green Zone: A calm, alert state where optimal learning occurs, associated with feelings of happiness, focus, contentment, and readiness to learn.

Emotional-Balance-for-Autistic-Children_image

Image credit: Beyond Autism – Autism and Emotional Regulation

Visual Supports for the Zones

Start by introducing your child to the four Zones and the emotions that fit into each one. It’s important they can match their feelings to the right Zone—this is the first step in using the Zones successfully.

Visual aids make learning the Zones easier and more fun. Try using them during daily routines and in everyday situations to help your child understand and practice.

A traffic light analogy is a fun way to visualise the Zones.

Green Zone: Just like a green light, it means “good to go.”
Yellow Zone: Like a yellow light, it means “slow down and be careful.”
Red Zone: Like a red light, it means “stop.”
Blue Zone: Like a rest area sign, it means “time to take a break.”

Another engaging way to explain the Zones is by creating a “feelings volcano,” where each layer represents a different zone, starting with blue at the base and red at the top, to show how emotions can build up.

Image credit: The Feelings Volcano – Mouthabet – TPT

Along with knowing which zone they’re in, your child also needs strategies to return to the green zone. The emotion thermometer, which uses numbers with the colour zones, helps children explain how they’re feeling more clearly.
For example, if they’re in the red zone and feeling really angry, they could take deep breaths and count to ten to help calm down.

A Note About Talking About Emotions

A key idea in The Zones of Regulation is that all zones are okay. We move through different zones each day, so it’s important not to make it seem like the Green Zone is the only good one. Acknowledge and support all feelings, rather than focusing too much on the Green Zone. If we do, children might think it’s not okay to be in other zones and start hiding their true feelings.

Normalise all emotions by talking about them openly. For example, if your child seems anxious, you could say, “It looks like you’re in the yellow zone. Would you like to try one of your activities?” You can also model this by saying, “Mum’s feeling a bit tired today; I’m in the blue zone,” and talking about how you might feel better.

Zones of Regulations and Autism: Animated Social Stories for Children with Autism

2. The Incredible 5-Point Scale

The Incredible 5-Point Scale, created by Kari Dunn Buron, is a visual tool that helps children identify and manage their emotions. It breaks down a concept into five stages, making it easier to teach emotional regulation. The scale can include special interests, like dinosaurs or volcanoes, to engage the child. While often visual, it doesn’t have to be. This tool is useful in schools for teaching emotional regulation and canalso help older children self-rate their emotions with support.

Here’s how to use a 5-Point Scale with a child:

1. Choose the target behaviour: Pick a behaviour or feeling to focus on, like anxiety or a behaviour that needs improvement.

2. Define each scale point: Decide what each of the 5 points on the scale will represent, showing the levels or intensity of the behaviour.

3. Create a story or visual: Develop a simple story or visual cue that explains how the scale works, tailored to the child’s interests and understanding.

4. Introduce the scale: Teach the child how to recognise and identify each stage on the scale.

5. Practice using the scale: Help the child practice using the scale and make changes if needed. Peers and adults like parents or teachers can support the child by using the scale in different situations.

Image Credit: Sample-5-Point Scale – Milestones Autism Resources

Image Credit: Sample self-rating 5-Point Scale tool – Middletown Centre for Autism

3. The Emotional Toolbox

The Emotional Toolbox, created by Tony Attwood, is a set of strategies to help people, especially those with autism, manage difficult emotions like anxiety, anger, and sadness. It includes different tools to help reduce these feelings and understand how thoughts can affect emotions. The toolbox gives people simple ways to handle tough situations more effectively.

Some of the tools are described below:

Physical tools are activities that help quickly release emotional energy through movement or exercise. (e.g. playing sports, dancing, playing in the park, watching a funny show to laugh)
Relaxation tools help you slowly release emotional energy, calm down, and lower your heart rate. (e.g. quiet time, drawing or painting, using fidget items, mindfulness)
Social tools help you feel better by connecting with a friend, family member, or pet.(e.g. talking to someone you trust, volunteering to help someone, spending time with a pet)
Thinking tools help you use your problem-solving skills to change your negative thought patterns and control your emotions. (e.g. refer to strategies on the 5-point scale, emotional thermometer, etc, imagine a calm, happy place, positive self-talk)
Special interest tools involve doing activities you love that bring joy, relaxation, and help you switch off from stress.
Medication tools: Emotional dysregulation can sometimes stem from an underlying medical condition, such as pain or discomfort, which requires medical attention. In some cases, medication might also be used as part of a plan to help manage these challenges, especially if other ways haven’t worked.
Other tools that can reduce anxiety or negative emotions but do not necessarily belong to a specific category. (e.g. develop self-advocacy skills, setting boundaries) Inappropriate tools, like self-harm, violence, or aggression, can be harmful to yourself and others. It’s important to identify and replace them with healthier alternatives. Emotional tools should be developed from a young age and regularly reviewed to add helpful tools and remove those that are no longer useful or could be harmful.

Calming Down Steps

You can help autistic children calm down from strong emotions with these steps:

1. Keep the child and others safe: Figure out what is causing the problem. Then, move the child away from whatever is upsetting them or take them to a different, calmer place.

2. Notice and identify the emotion: Pay attention to your child’s behaviour to understand their feelings before responding. Stay calm, listen, and try to see the situation from their perspective.

3. Name and connect the emotion to the event: Label the emotion and link it to what happened. This helps your child understand their feelings and shows you recognize how they feel.

4. Pause and say nothing: Give your child a moment to process what you’ve said. This pause can help them calm down or even start solving the problem themselves.

5. Support your child while they calm down: If your child needs more time, ensure everyone’s safety and stay close, offering calm support. Give them space if needed but let them know you’re there.

6. Address the behaviour or problem-solve: Once your child is calm, help them solve the problem or discuss their behaviour. Offer comfort if needed and acknowledge their emotions, while reinforcing acceptable behaviour.

Read our three-part article on managing meltdowns in autistic children:

Conclusion

This list is just a starting point—there are many techniques and strategies to help with calming and emotional regulation. What matters most is finding what works best for you and your child. Teaching emotional regulation to an autistic child isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. It involves teamwork, with parents, carers, and support persons coming together to help the child thrive. Working closely with your child’s teachers and therapists is also crucial for providing consistent support at home and in school. If your child needs more support, a counsellor or child psychologist can offer additional strategies.

It can be frustrating at times, but don’t give up. Every child is unique, so be open to trying different approaches and give things time to work. And remember, taking care of yourself is important too—your efforts make a difference.